Why the hell so much grudge we got looking at her friends listing and not finiding our invitation?
I’m really surprised too, which is interesting.
We do have some repressed resentment, like loads of it if we compare the tidal wave of grudge and jealosy that came.
The fucking loads of it.
And the sadness too.
Ugh.. that’s scary. The darkness and the monster we’re hiding inside. Are we so much dishonest with ourselves?
The demons that we have, and it’s unsettling. The questions are why?
Why do we have this feeling of grudge, jealosy and sadness?
Yeah, that is the reason we decided to continue, to banish or at the very least uncover those demons. Bailing out would mean their ultimate victory, they’ll continue dwelling in darkness, consuming more and more of our lightness. And we don’t want it.
The answer dissuades me, relentlessly. Why do we have these feelings of grudge. jealosy. sadness?
First one, grudge.
She isn’t ours? Was she ever? I doubt it, even though we might have lead us to believe so. Is this false conviction which feeds and lurks the demon? Is it why we feel so lost and betrayed?
I’m led to believe so, at least in partial. Knowing such answer calms us, soothes. But is it the answer to find or just pleasant lulably sung by the demon to distract us? It might be.
In any case, we should return later, but now, what lead us to have the feeling of jealosy? I’m swayed to think the same reason, false believe of being in charge, of another human.
And they fled, fled before we could find out. Hiding again, conversing the shadows and some other beatufil bullshit words I would love to put here, forgetting the limits of my technical vocabulary.
Those feelings could have been amplified by the preceding feeling of emptyness and uselessness, but we’ll have to know later. And now we as a calmer <del>man</del>men.