Why do we I create the worst condition for myself when I’m in a bad mood

Simple answer – I don’t know

But we both know it’s the most simple and the most useless one, so I’m gonna dig a little deeper.

So, the problem

I feel like shit, because I did mostly(?) everything in mah power to make myself feel like it

Maybe it was to get a reason to feel like shit?

It might be.

But what are other reasons?

Hmm, I really want to say I don’t know, but again, cut the fluff.

Because I have some (yeah sure) problems with self-esteem?

This one too probably.

So what are my problems that lead to this reasoning and thinking that suffering because “you have a reason” is a valid reason to suffer?

It’s a flawed subconcious pattern, obviously. Yet I somehow grabbed it. Parents? Plausible. Self-development? Yeap, kinda too.

I wanna play tomb raider, and that one, about white bug dude,forgot the name

and get laid

So many wants, so little cans and dids.

Not really, just self-deprecating mood kicking in, or more likely still kicking out.

That tree is bootiful

What is this one? Written thoughts, if you couldn’t tell

Who is you? Me, myself and I. Of course

Who else would it be? Just me that is you that is me in a little witty future (somehow I wanted to misspel it as “feature”)

Though, back to reasoning, what was it?

I’ll save you a bother of scrolling up: “I feel like shit, because I did mostly? everything to make myself feel like it”
which tranlates to

Why did I did stuff to feel like shit?

I should really cut that “dunno” part out, it’s getting frustrating

We already figured.. something, I forgot while wandering around in ma head. But mostly because we were led to feel like shit because of “real world problems”.

Which were basically happy imagination colliding with real world, which resulted in evasive maneuvers. Which suck-a-lot.

Memo for future, if one? Don’t evade disalignments with reality by making yourself get into shitty mood where you “don’t care”.

Because for fucksters you do, and sucksters it ain’t working any more and hadn’t really worked once.

And yet we know, and yet we fail.

By the way, this whole reasoning process is garbo, because we’re in a shitty mood and because it’s getting late. And I do belive in late lame.